Call it anger, call it spite, just don't call it paid

I am 3 months behind in child support. I was ordered to begin voluntary payment June 2012, and to continue said voluntary payments until the Income Deduction Order, IDO, was in place. I have made exactly zero voluntary payments.

From here, you may jump straight down to comments and tell me how horrible this is for the children, or, you can continue reading.

Judge Dennis Craig ordered that there be no child support payments for the month of May for either parent since the children would be with each parent for half of the month: “No child support shall be exchanged between Petitioner and Respondent for the month of May, 2012, as each parent will have the children for approximately one-half of the month” (FJDM, page 14). The children were with Donkey for June, me in July, and half and half again in August. The IDO is in place now, finally, will be sent to my employer within the next couple of weeks, and should hit on the first paycheck for September. This is exactly what I thought, planned, hoped for.

Donkey will surely come after me for the $1,020.33 I owe by order. I don’t think I’ll go the hearing (when that happens) because Judge Dennis Craig has made it clear he has no interest in listening to what I have to say. The money is divorce-ordered owed to Donkey, that I can’t argue no matter how equally divided May, June,  July, and August were, and I will be assessed Barnette’s legal fees. So if I don’t go I’m only paying one lawyer and no transportation costs, and I’m not losing time off work either. Nothing I say, request, or do will have any bearing on the decision.

I couldn’t have provided for the children for the six weeks we had together had I sent him the money. The money is in savings now because one of my long-awaited tax refunds arrived last week (no, not the one Donkey has been holding hostage). I didn’t know when it would arrive, but I knew it, or one of any other payments due, would arrive before the court order. Risky? Yes, but the family court system is slow enough it was a financial gamble at the low-end of comfort-ending risk.

I learned this week that the retro support owed to me for my 20 months won’t be arriving anytime soon. Either he elected not to pay or couldn’t. I won’t guess. He waited until after the 90 day court ordered deadline and filed a request for a payment plan. That was money I wasn’t counting on to back up my gamble.

The issue with the 2010 tax refund now is my lawyer demanding Donkey send what was ordered. I told my lawyer, again,  to accept whatever negotiation they send over and just send the stupid check as is. But this isn’t the first time I’ve told him to just leave it be. I have no say in what Donkey decides I get or when. Donkey has already said he won’t pay the balance until I supply him with a receipt for June child support.

I guess we know the answer to that one now, don’t we?

He makes 2x what I did with salary and the little support he decided I would get. He makes $68,xxx a year without my support. I doubt he’s gone without. Except he probably has since his financial sense isn’t.

He is judgement proof for 15 years since he provides more than 50% for minor children. These companies can’t collect unless he buys equitable property; then they can attach a lien so he can’t sell for less than he owes them.

Right now he is living in a $1,2xx/month apartment, has the kids in $1,7xx/month preschool, still has $570/month car payments and the insurance for it, and will use a tank of gas every day to drive back and forth to school. Plus the extra food, clothing, water, and electricity, and extracurricular necessities. He has an iPhone, cable with Nick Jr, and, as a necessity of his work, the biggest and best internet available. Once a month he will be driving to Chattanooga and back from FL, and all the medical expenses are his responsibility, be it well or sick visits with him or with me. Plus, he has Attila to provide for, and there is no such thing as a free puppy.

Donkey brings home about $5,xxx/month with salary, after taxes, plus child support, and he likes new, shiny toys (like rings, swords, and shoes; oh, and the new dvd player for his car).

The kids won’t go without. Not if I have anything to say about it. Except that I say it won’t get to them (other than the child support) in the form of money sent to Donkey. If it’s obvious they need clothes, then I send them boxes of clothes (knowing full well they won’t last), if they need crayons for school, then I send them crayons for school to the school.

You see, even tho it’s everything but fun, I’m the fun parent now. My child support is less than 2 weeks of the daycare/preschool costs I paid, not to mention food, water, electricity, gas, entertainment, ballet, soccer, etc. Once everything settles, and my budget returns to something more predictable, I will be spending less on everything which turns into more and more savings.

There’s no doubt I will spend many paychecks rescuing the kids from his financial mishaps, but only the court ordered cash will be sent directly to him. I will purchase what needs to be purchased. I will not send him the money to buy it.

Tags: C. Michael Barnette, child support, custody, dissolution of marriage, domestic violence, financial abuse, intimate partner violence, Judge Dennis Craig, judgement of dissolution of marriage, minority timesharing parent, parenting plan, violence against women, visitation