Wrap It Up

Weekly Writing Challenge: Wrap It Up

The year is almost over. Maybe even the world; but who has time for that? My first post was this year, March 6. Since then I have composed 170 posts and published 166 167 168. Through those composition conundrums I have grown.

  • In January I was afraid for my life and filed a request for a restraining order.
  • In February I was denied the restraining order and learned the value of lying to a lawyer.
  • In March I started Deliberate Donkey.
  • In April I lost custody of my children and was allowed only one more month as their mother.
  • In May I gave my children to the man who beat me so bad he fractured 7 bones in my back.
  • In June I was angry.
  • In July I pretended I wasn’t.
  • In August I was angry.
  • In September I got a new job and relocated to be closer to my children.
  • In October I hated everyone and everything.
  • In November I gave up.
  • In December I regained myself.

It’s been a year of hell, horror, and hiding. It’s been a year of crying, screaming, and fighting. It’s been a year of death and rebirth. I barely squeaked in the rebirth. Whatever happened, snapped, in my brain in November has turned this year from a year of loss to a year of strength. I can say now that I have survived and I will thrive. Which is a massive improvement over January when all I could say was I think he’s going to kill me, or May when all I could say was I wish he had killed me when he had the chance, or August when all I could say was I never should have left him.

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19 thoughts on “Wrap It Up

  1. When I first started reading your blog I thought you were writing about events that happened years before. Quite a year.. but you made it all the way to the end. Love what you wrote “I survived and I will thrive” :) :)

    Warm wishes and happy holidays. May 2013 be filled with love, joy and strength!!! :)

    • Thank you for your support, for reading my blog, and for taking the time to comment.
      I wish you all the best in 2013. I’m looking forward to more of your beautiful artwork. Thank you for sharing everything you share.

  2. I love you! You are a STRONG woman, and I am so very proud of you. You inspire me all the time, even when your accounts make me want to cry. xoxoxo

  3. Hot damn, Melanie! I am so empowered by your words! I am speechless, grateful, proud, flustered, applauding, rejoicing, and sobered. You ARE strong. I am reminded of the first wake up call I had, when my ex-husband had me pinned by the throat, while my five month old son wailed and watched as he stared me right in the eyes. The memory of the emotion has resurfaced many times, in the wake of standing on a verge of certain, unknown destruction. Always there when I need it the most. Have faith that that strength you have found is with you– now and always.

    • The first wake up call is the most vivid memory for most of us (I think). I’m so sorry you had to watch your son watch. There is nothing good about that. The memory of his face must be as vivid as the memory of your ex’s hand on your throat. Your son won’t remember that. My son doesn’t remember, but my daughter (who was almost 3) does somewhat remember. She remembers that daddy hurt mommy, but she doesn’t seem to remember the specifics. I hope she doesn’t.
      You are strong too. Your poetry reflects your strength and determination to rebuild yourself. It’s inspiring to me.

  4. A very powerful year, you have had, Melanie. As a man, I want to apologize for all the abuse you have had to suffer–physical, psychological, emotional, judicial. I did not inflict those wounds personally, but I am part of a patriarchy that raises young boys to believe that they are better than women and that they have the right to do horrible things to women.
    I am so glad you have turned the corner. I look forward to watching you soar in 2013.

    • You may be part of the patriarchy, but I don’t think that you are raising your sons to believe they are better than women. From what I’ve read, it seems to me you value individuality, peace, and kindness. Every person who instills the value of equality in their children – sons and daughters – is taking the steps we need to end the violence against women.
      I hope you reach all of your goals for 2013, and then some.

  5. Oh it is SO good to see you doing well. I know there is much to learn right now – maybe it’s just how to be confident and yourself again so you can be an even better, stronger mama for your babies. Blessings to you in 2013, abundant, tangible blessings.

  6. Pingback: Wrapping up 2012 (just Three beautiful Sunsets) | Beyond Beauty Tips

  7. Pingback: Up next | Deliberate Donkey

speak loudly, donkeys are sleeping

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