Loss: the act of losing possession; failure to gain, win, obtain, or utilize; see also, at a loss, for a loss.
I lost custody to my abusive ex-husband. I turn over my children to him on May 12. The day before Mother’s Day.
Judge Dennis Craig made the ruling Tuesday, April 10, 2012, in the 7th Judicial Circuit, Division 49, courtroom 402, at approximately 5:00 PM EDT. At 5:01 PM EDT I threw up. I’ve never seen a man move as quickly as the bailiff. I put my hand on my lawyer’s arm, said I’m going to be sick, bent over in my seat, and puked. The bailiff caught it in a trash can.
I’m intentionally not remembering much of his verdict to get thru these next 23 days. On May 12, I will give my children to a monster. On May 13 I will allow myself to be crushed under the weight of that. On May 14, I will wake up and start my new life. The only constant I hope endures is my fight to protect my children from the same fear and pain I endured. The same fear I didn’t report to the police out of fear. The same pain I didn’t report to the police because of the pain.
One thought I can’t shake yet, tho, is, have I just put my children in the position to do what I couldn’t? Is the responsibility to report resting in the hands of a 4 & a 2-year-old? How much will I be able to protect them from a man who told the court he didn’t see anything wrong with using pain to teach children a lesson, in some circumstances. Some circumstances? Not in my house: verbal warning, public timeout (in the same room), private timeout (in a separate room), and then privilege revocation.
It doesn’t matter. He threw me through a door for disagreeing with his decision to move the kids and me to FL. He has stated he was defending himself. He was defending his decision, as the man of the house, to further his education and career (at a time when focus needed to be internal), no matter the cost to the family, no matter the concerns of the wife, no matter…
It was finished before I even knew it was happening.