[Music DV] You may be glad, but she didn’t say she wanted it

We’ll thank Glee* for this one later: after chart-topping performances in Ireland and the UK, “a new, refreshing sound and a perfect song for the summer which really gets you in the mood for a party” (Tom Parker) comes along and ruins my summer parties.

Violence in “Glad You Came”

by The Wanted

I know! I know! You’re thinking, What!? Are you crazy? I love this song. It’s so great!

Some say it’s simply a guy happy his girlfriend came over to visit, which is nice for the under-13 set. Others remark on the double-entendre and have decided it is decidedly sexual in nature – to this I say duh!. Mostly it’s a happy summer party song that gets you in the mood for a good time. I think there’s something more sinister at work here: consent by pressure.

It should be known I have been handed another drink, and I drank it if I could, and consent wasn’t possible because I threw up a little every time I opened my mouth and was thus begging him in my brain to please! go quickly so I could puke.

No one story has only one interpretation. Two roads diverge in many places.

What is “Glad You Came” about?

The scene is set immediately: it’s night and the who’s who have emerged. Seize the day and throw caution to the wind have been irreversibly confused; the damage being present pleasure counts more than future consequences.

Enter Her and He will never be the same. She is his sun and he will orbit her and only her.

It is her fault: she cast a spell and the effect hit hard.

He decides she would look good on him, someone to wear around for the evening; a sun to shine on him, but a sun he must have for himself like the magic golden flower.

He isolates her. He turns the lights out. He can no longer see her face; she can no longer see where she is. He takes her hand and he leads her thru the dark. She must trust him to get her there.

Once there, he offers her another drink and challenges her to drink it, drink it if she can, drink another drink. He offers her time but then hurries her to decided to stay, to stay with him. He will make her glad.

He. He will. He will make. He will make her. He will make her glad.

He is glad you came

I doubt the title came is the past tense of cum. He’s glad she came to the party so he could present tense of came. And that’s just it – he’s glad she came. No mention she is glad she came (but he will make her). No mention that he looks good on her, or they on each other. It isn’t the aligned stars, but his universe. Hers won’t be the same either, but for different reasons. The entire experience is about him.

The other side of it could be if he’s glad she came, past tense of cum, then there must have been mutual pleasure. And to that I say, ask Harry about Sally.

The immediate introduction is of a life of irresponsibility. It’s night-time and he’s out with the stars so either he is one (look at me!), wants to be one (look at me!), or thinks people will think he is (look at me!). It is night and he is out for the here and now which is well and fine, but now and then it comes back again.

For every action there is a reaction; actions have consequences: pick yours. When the world does actually end, I hope, there won’t be two days notice, and so we pay next month’s rent this month. It is immature to assume today ends at midnight: if I don’t fix the screw in my tire today I will have a flat tire tomorrow.

The immediate action is to fall in love with a woman. His universe will never be the same. His universe. That’s a large, large space to be forever altered by the introduction of a speck. Yes, I know, I took astronomy, specks matter, but in the grand universal scheme, a speck isn’t going to detour our path around the sun. Yes, I know, a woman is greater than a speck, but one woman for one night hardly alters the universe of one who would have one woman for one night.

This one woman is at fault. She cast a spell on him. He no longer able to control himself; her spell taken over his brain and body. But with the concussion from the sky hitting him on the head and everything, he probably had lost his sense.

This one woman becomes an accessory, an object which he thinks will look good on him, but he takes her quickly away where no one else can see, where she is all his. Sure, a loving guy wouldn’t have sex with his girlfriend on the dance floor, and it is socially acceptable to get a room, but he isn’t taking her where they can be alone; he is taking her where no one else can see.

Once they are there, she can no longer see. As soon as they are in the room he turns off the lights. He takes her hand and leads her; he knows the way and she must follow. They don’t take hands and walk together. Turning off the lights itself isn’t all together odd, but when they are is.

Walking in a dark room is disorienting. Sitting on an unknown surface in a dark room is disorienting. Walking drunk in a dark room and sitting when you don’t know what you are sitting to is disorienting. So he gives her another drink.

It’s a misconception that the more a woman drinks the more likely she is to say yes. Not saying no isn’t saying yes. It’s a misconception that once a woman stops resisting she begins consenting. He isn’t asking for her consent – he is going to make her glad. She may think she doesn’t want it, or may be playing hard to get. She couldn’t possible not want it from him.

To keep her from realizing, or vocalizing, this he must make her feel like he has all the time in the world for her while rushing her to make the decision to stay. He can make her glad she made that choice because he’s just that good.

She’s been drinking drinks he’s bought for her. He’s taken her around and showed her off. He’s taken her to a room and turned out the lights. She isn’t in familiar surroundings and doesn’t have any way to reach out for rescue. Her winglady can’t spill a drink on her feet to get her away. No no longer matters.

It’s all about word choice. Usher** has the same song. Oh. You didn’t know? “Scream” is the same story, except Usher’s “He” doesn’t propose to make her glad. Instead he proposes a mutual decision. He wants it and if she does too, it’s on: “if you want to scream, yeah / let me know and I’ll take you there”. Other than that, and the music, it’s pretty much the same song: famous guy, hypnotic gal, lights turned off…

 

*Season 3, Episode 14, 21 February 2012

**26 April 2012

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6 comments

  1. Hi, I just wanted to tell you, you’re wrong. Your post doesn’t make any sense.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I don’t understand what is wrong or doesn’t make sense since you didn’t expand on that idea, but I’d be happy to draw out any further explanation should it benefit the post and my readers’ understanding of my position.

  2. My dear, you are (as if you don’t already know this) highly intelligent! This entry depicts this fact quite well. To guildwars2check…This entry isn’t about something that makes “no” sense. In fact, it makes perfect sense! (and I don’t even watch “glee”). It’s about a very tough subject, and how the facts are minimized to make the predator less of a perpetrator. Date rape: aka: Rape. Nothing to minimize or make fun of. It happens, and too many times the woman is left in shambles. Very few believe the man did anything wrong. It’s an atrocity.

    This is from the woman’s point of view, being the recipient of an unwanted sexual encounter with a pig…pure and simple.

    1. I think that’s what got me, praising the predator for his conquest. It shouldn’t be a point of pride to get a girl drunk, lead her to a dark room, and make her…anything.
      I recognize that I may have a different take on this as a woman who has stopped saying no only to get it over with and get out of there. But the power of art is the different experience every individual has with it, but this one worries me.
      It worries me because I question how something other than rape can be taken from this story. It worries me because I worry that not saying Yes has become separate from saying No.

      1. I definitely think there’s more, here, than meets the eye. Predators seek out prey. it’s what they do. Unfortunately, the prey has more than likely, been preyed on more than once. The victim (I believe this is true for more than one woman) gets used to having to just “deal with it” and then get the H out of there. (I speak for myself here, too)…the victim eventually gets to the point that they feel their words and fighting doesn’t matter…”no one will believe me anyway”. Then we’re left to protect ourselves the only way we, seemingly, have left. I spent a long time searching for the one man who was chivalrous. The one who would shield and protect me. Instead, I was accused, blamed and I was left without a voice. I’m stepping out on a limb here. These are things no one knows about me.

    2. I think that’s what got me, praising the predator for his conquest. It shouldn’t be a point of pride to get a girl drunk, lead her to a dark room, and make her…anything.
      I recognize that I may have a different take on this as a woman who has stopped saying no only to get it over with and get out of there. But the power of art is the different experience every individual has with it, but this one worries me.
      It worries me because I question how something other than rape can be taken from this story. It worries me because I worry that not saying Yes has become separate from saying No.
      p.s. I don’t watch Glee either. I did some googling to study the progression of popularity of the song.

speak loudly, donkeys are sleeping

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