Each week the folks behind the launch button offer a writing challenge to rouse our writing. This week it is “a moment when your life was changed in a split second.” I instantly knew my instant.
In one second I was standing at the kitchen counter grinding coffee and before that second was over I was on my back on the laundry room floor. That instant is the most vivid of all my memories, and it’s the one I most wish I could erase. That instant is the most defining moment of my current life, and it’s the one I most wish I could erase.
23 February 2010 – [He] threw me through the laundry room door. He grabbed me with two hands around my arms just above my elbows and pushed me backwards about ten feet with his full force and strength and slammed me into the laundry room door. The door gave and I landed with my upper back, neck, and head slammed into the drier. [Our daughter] cried with a fear I have never heard before…tonight she was scared. It took me several minutes to get up. My back hurt. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t get up off my hands and knees from the pain. I was short of breath for several hours. I threw up. Picking up and feeding [our son] made me wince. I couldn’t turn my head to look at [our daughter], sitting next to me, without pain. [He] hurts me emotionally very regularly, but tonight was the first night he ever hurt me like this. He’s grabbed me before, out of anger, but he has never been like this. I told him to leave but he didn’t It’s sure to happen again.
24 Feb – My list of injuries— left hand bruised and tender to move/touch; left wrist scraped and tender to touch; left elbow scraped, bruised, swollen, and tender; right leg, inside just above the knee, hurts to touch or move which makes walking painful; right hip sore to use, feels “out”; sternum sore to touch and slightly bruised; right collarbone at shoulder sore/tender to touch; back of head has huge knot, probably bruised, tender, hurts to lay down or back; upper back, sore muscles, knots, swollen, bruised and makes everything hard to do because it hurts so bad and I’m scared to move and cause permanent damage; tongue swollen from biting down on both sides.
25 Feb – No change, well more sore, more swollen, more tender, more bruises.
26 Feb – I wish I could go to the doctor, or tell someone, and get this off my chest.
A few months later he did verbally admit to this abusive act. He even talked about it in an email. But it means nothing. I didn’t call the police, so according to the courts it never happened. Now he is raising our children.