Drunk, naked, and in bed

We were seven months in. It was the first Christmas, but we didn’t spend it together. I was going home and Donkey was going to his brother’s house in Miami. His brother, I’ll call him Mule, lives in a Homeowners Association neighborhood and was on the verge of a fine for the crap condition of his backyard fence.

In the time I was around this family, Mule received several notices on the condition of his yard: the fence, the flag, the basketball hoop, and the swing set. He chose to live in a Homeowners Association neighborhood, and he complained about their insistence that he conform to their conditions with every demand to improve his exterior appearance.

Mule couldn’t do the work alone and his sons, 12 & 8 at the time, were considered too young to help with the manual labor of removing the rotted section, digging new post holes, and putting up the new fence, so he asked Donkey to come down and help. Donkey wasn’t exactly happy about the request because helping his brother with any work annoyed him. Mule took too much time planning and measuring and not enough time working. But it was family and a free flight.

Donkey broke the news to me like he was telling me my dog died. I was disappointed, but it was an understandable reason. We went our separate ways for the holidays. Donkey and Mule planned to do the work over the course of a week.

While in Miami, Donkey decided to go out with an old friend, a fellow drug-addicted alcoholic. Donkey and this guy had known each other for years. He was Donkey’s older sister’s ex-boyfriend. It was this guy who would get Donkey some pot to smoke while he was working with his brother since he had flown and couldn’t bring his own.

The two of them went out and got sickly wasted. Black-out drunk. And, they drove this way. They spent hours drinking beer, taking shots, and smoking joints. His friend dropped Donkey back off at Mule’s house and chaos ensued, and not because he was falling down drunk.

Donkey made his way up stairs and removed his clothing. He liked to sleep naked, especially when drinking. Except, instead of falling into his bed in the guest room, he climbed into his 12-year-old nephew’s bed. He crawled naked into his 12-year-old nephew’s bed. His nephew woke up frightened. His uncle was drunk, naked, and in bed with him. The scream woke the rest of the family.

Mule was angry, but his wife wanted Donkey out, gone, on the next flight, no where around her sons, not allowed in her home. She was ready to fork over a small fortune to put Donkey on a flight back to Georgia that minute. Mule somehow convinced her to let Donkey sleep it off and they would discuss it at first light. Donkey was in no position to explain himself.

First light came and she was still a hornet of pissed-the-fuck-off. Donkey called me and explained that he would probably be leaving that day. He said what happened. I cringed. How the hell could you be so drunk you didn’t know you were crawling into bed with a 12-year-old boy? It wasn’t his fault, he explained.


  1. Nice. That kid is probably scarred for life.

    1. It was 3 years before Donkey was invited back into their home. But they all seem to have forgotten about now, 7 years later.

  2. You have to be pretty hammered for that… Nothing wrong with indulging, but not that much. I’d never let that guy back into my life.

    1. The worst part is I still married this asshole. His brother and sister-in-law still invite him into their home, where he still drinks, sometimes excessively. And his brother still rescues him from his stupid mistakes.

      1. Don’t beat yourself up for that. Marrying him, I mean. We often make decisions that should be “against our better judgement”. I lived with a woman for 3 years. When we first got together alarm bells were going off, but I did it anyway.

        This guy sounds like a narcissist and for some reason they have families that tolerate anything. Yours must be good at fooling because he has your kids. Somebody believes him. My partner now has lost 2 children to her Ex. It’s horrible. I am still motoring through your story. You are very strong. Others may have crumpled but you are still fighting!

        1. He is good at fooling and lying. He’s perfected his mask of perfection.
          I am trying to stay strong. It’s everyday work. I have to keep fighting. It’s not right that my children are forced to live with this terrible person. They need me to fight.

          1. Best of luck! I know it’s tough.

  3. Wow, just catching up on your posts. He needs to never drink. I am sure the ass now just laughs about it.

    1. He’s stupid when he’s drunk. He’s crawled naked in bed with his nephew and gotten 2 DUIs. You’d think at some point, he’d realize he has a problem with alcohol.

      1. I agree that is just not ok. I just pulled up his mug shot.I am surprised he didn’t pay to have it removed

        1. As much as he complains about not having any money, I imagine he can’t.

speak loudly, donkeys are sleeping

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