Eight homes in five years

Weekly Writing Challenge: Map It Out

Donkey moved us a lot. There were only two moves that he didn’t initiate (1 to 2, and 3 to 4). We met in May 2005 and I left in August 2010. These are the general locations of where we lived together during our relationship. I haven’t included the numbers for the street addresses.

1. My apartment when we met. Donkey moved himself in after we knew each other for a week. I needed to move because I was no longer working full time in order to finish college more quickly. I needed cheaper rent, off campus. A friend of mine had lost her roommate and offered me the second bedroom for a whopping $200/month plus utilities.

2. My apartment with a roommate. Donkey hated my roommate, and though he essentially still lived at his parent’s house, he stayed with me most nights. When my roommate was looking to move, she offered me the whole space (it was a house near campus that was her’s first and I moved in with her later without signing the lease) but Donkey refused to let me stay there. He decided we needed to find a place together and live there together.

3. Our first place together. It was a 500 square feet cottage with one closet, originally built as mother-in-law quarters. This is where our daughter was conceived. We moved because Donkey didn’t like the neighbor, I got pregnant, and he got a job in Atlanta with IBM. This is the house where he first physically attacked me.

4. When Donkey started with IBM I was still in school. Instead of letting me stay 5 miles from campus he moved me into his parent’s house over 45 minutes away from school. As a woman, and a pregnant woman, I couldn’t be allowed to live alone. He said I would be robbed, raped, and beat up. He was the only one to ever rob, rape, and beat me up.

5. Our first apartment in Atlanta. This was a good place. There were lots of families around and we were close to activities. We had to move because they were remodeling the entire complex and they forced everyone to move out at the end of their lease in order to do the construction. We could have moved into a newly remodeled apartment, but the rent was out of our budget.

6. This was my favorite house of all of our houses. The rent included all the utilities, we were walking distance from a park, and the neighbors had a daughter the same age as ours. This is where our son was conceived. It was good for Donkey because a pot dealer lived two houses up so if he couldn’t get ahold of his dealer he would go to the neighbor.  He decided we had to move because the owners had failed a short-sale on one of the other properties and he didn’t want to be in a position to have to find a place and move in 30 days, except he changed his mind on where we would go so many times I ended up with 2 weeks to secure a new home, pack, and move. This was where Donkey attacked me the second time.

7. This place was a dump. A total and complete dump. We had great neighbors though. Next door was a family with two kids, one my daughters age, and across the street was another family with a daughter a year younger than mine. The neighborhood was quiet and enclosed (no through traffic). Our next door neighbors brought us fresh, homemade banana bread the day after we moved in. I have never had anyone bring me bread since. This is where Donkey threw me though the laundry room door.

8. FL. The end of the end. Donkey still lives here. This was where Donkey came after me with a knife.

I’m still moving, against all my wishes. When I left Donkey, the kids and I moved into a Domestic Violence shelter in Troy, Missouri. When we left the shelter we moved in with my sister and her family just outside of St. Louis. When I was established in a job the kids and I moved into our own home in a suburb of St. Louis. This was where we were going to stay. We were walking distance from the elementary and middle schools for our district. We were a mile from my parent’s house and a block from my cousin and my aunt and uncle. But Donkey took the kids and moved them back to Florida. I moved to Atlanta.

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26 comments

  1. Moving a lot is brutal, and I would guess even harder with children. We moved 4 times including 3 provinces in 2.5 years. We’re done!

    1. I could probably start a moving consulting company with the experience of so many moves. I can pack and unpack boxes and a moving truck like a champ.

  2. It’s one of the most stressful things a person can go through, moving. And for you to do it as often as you have, for the reasons you have, with the person in your life that you did it with… I am full of admiration.

    1. I’ve gained a pretty high level of expertise on moving. If anyone were to ask, I could get them moved with fewer grey hairs. I can tell you how to question real estate agents and property managers. I can tell you what to pack a month out and what to leave for the day of. I can tell you what moving truck companies can give you what you need at the price you need for the kind of move you are making. It’s ridiculous, really.

      1. I’ll be banging on your door (figuratively obviously) when my next moves comes along then!

        1. I will gladly assist.

  3. twindaddy · · Reply

    I’ve moved a lot over the years, myself. It sucks and I know how hard it can be. Keep your chin up, things will settle down eventually.

    1. Someday the dust will settle and I won’t be using one closet for boxes alone. Someday. One step at a time and I’ll get there.

      1. twindaddy · · Reply

        Good. I’m glad to hear that.

        1. Aren’t you gearing up for your move soon? I hope it’s smooth for you.

          1. twindaddy · · Reply

            Just did it this weekend. It suuuuuucked.

            1. Oh goodness. Well, double thank you for taking time away to talk with me.

              1. twindaddy · · Reply

                No problem. I was eating dinner at the time anyhow.

                1. I know your quarters are cramped now, and your time with your kids is going to mean some extra ass-pain, but I do hope that sharing the bed with your wife again will bring you guys closer together again. You need some good, even if it comes with midnight toenail dagger attacks.

                  1. twindaddy · · Reply

                    Not complaining, but had to share the story. I love being able to sleep with her again, but I hate losing the ttime with the kids. Things will fall into place. Hopefully soon.

                    1. It sucks to have one and not the other, but it’s temporary. Things will fall into place. I believe you when you tell me, so now you get to believe me, even tho I’m not there yet.
                      I’m glad you shared the story. It showed the difference you’ve made in your life by recognizing what you missed before. Plus, a good head slap is funny.

                    2. twindaddy · ·

                      Yeah. That’s what I keep hearing.

                    3. Keep listening and you’ll believe. It’s working for me at least.

                    4. twindaddy · ·

                      I was referring to the head slap. I know things will sort themself out. I wouldn’t tell you that if I didn’t believe it myself.

                    5. Oops. Fail. Sorry.

                    6. twindaddy · ·

                      Lol. Its all good.

  4. Wow, you have a hell of a story to share. Thank-you for doing that. I have read your more recent posts, but decided to start back to see what led to where you are now.

    1. There is a lot to my story. Thank you for reading it. There’s a lot here, and a lot I haven’t gotten to yet either. I never realized how much I had to tell until I started telling it.

      1. Funny how that happens. My story is getting longer as I go through it too. Good luck with your custody battle. I can only imagine how hard that must be.

  5. […] has no jurisdiction right now, the lawyers told me. Leave while you still can, they said. He moved us a lot. I left Florida before the six month expiration date, and I left him. It took two days to […]

speak loudly, donkeys are sleeping

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