Support. Validation. Understanding. These are three reasons so many of us have started and continued to share our stories. We write to clear our heads of the painful memories. We write to show others they are not alone. We write because we live in a society that blames victims, but we are not to blame. We write because we cannot keep our secrets secret any longer.
I want to tell you about I blog I have been reading for the last three months: I Survived a Murder Attack – My Family Didn’t. On October 25, 2012, Becki Duckworth started telling her story, a story that started decades ago. Twenty-one years before beginning to write, Becki was stabbed 21 times in a domestic assault by someone who claimed to love her, but that’s not where her story begins. Like all of our stories, it’s a work in progress.
What she is sharing is heart-wrenching. Becki kept her past close to her heart as she worked to build a life, a family, a home, and a career. She has run events for notable personalities, including Hilary Clinton, and international corporations, including Nike. She has sat on Oprah’s couch and personally met US Presidents. But this all came after Becki endured horrific child abuse, was kidnapped and raped as a teenager, and was very nearly murdered in her twenties.
This dichotomy is not uncommon. Victims of abuse and violence are often forced to deny themselves their story in order to pursue normality. It’s not a lie of omission when it’s omission for survival.
I believe there is something in her story for all of us. Not only did she survive, she survived. As Becki puts it, she came back at life swinging. She has lived and loved, but the pain of her past festered like the unhealed wound it was. Now Becki is stitching that wound with words.
She is fighting the injustices done to her and saying to hell with all those who would prefer she keep quiet. By keeping quiet we empower our enemies. Becki is helping to put them back in their place. She is standing up and shouting that this isn’t right, this shouldn’t be accepted, and this shouldn’t have to be kept a secret. And a secret for her it is no more.
Are you familiar with this quote: “Why do people say grow some balls? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina.” I’m pretty sure Becki is exactly the kind of woman this quote is talking about.
None of this is easy on any of us. Not sharing, not reading, but it matters. We matter. Our stories matter. Ending the acceptance of violence matters. Every voice matters. Please join me in supporting Becki as she explores her past and its effect on her present to build a stronger future.
Some Posts By Becki Duckworth
- Welcome to My World, 31 October 2012
- My Most Vivid and Haunting Memory of My Mother, 7 November 2012
- Apologies to My Friends, 23 December 2012
- The Day I Was Stabbed…Part One, 9 January 2013