Outside the Inner Circle

My son was full of boy energy one night last week, and no amount of pleading through Skype stopped him from tackling his sister. It’s ineffective, every time. At least when we are together I can physically separate them and prevent accidental injury.

Donkey was downstairs entertaining. No where to be seen or heard. Which is unusual. Generally he’s not out of earshot of the computer. Which is stupid considering her records each and every Skype between the kids and I. But there was someone to impress. I just didn’t know it yet.

Son tackled daughter, and I asked him to stop. Son tacked daughter, and I told him to stop. He did it again and she got a fat lip. He fell to pieces. She went to get ice (tell). He went to hide. I heard his bedroom door shut. And no amount of pleading through Skype convinced him to come out and talk to me, if he could even hear me.

Daughter came back upstairs with ice and Donkey was right on her heels. He walked past the computer and opened the door to the kids’ bedroom.

Donkey handled the situation with the most grace and patience I’ve ever seen. Usually he yells, refuses to listen, and lays blame with the utmost disrespect to the kids, and the common conflicts of siblings. But this time, this time he spoke in a calm voice, he asked questions to understand what happened, he didn’t yell or blame, and he assured Son that it was an accident.

Thirty minutes later Daughter & Son take the computer downstairs so I can meet Michelle– Donkey’s girlfriend’s sister. Of course, Donkey refused to allow the introduction and the kids, deflated, took the computer back upstairs.

Donkey is terrified I will spill his secret. Of course he is. It’s why he doesn’t allow Tracy (his girlfriend) to get out of the car when we meet for me to pick up or drop off the kids. It’s why, before she was allowed to remain in the car, he dropped her off across the street to wait.

He works hard to keep his appearance to outsiders. He needs Tracy’s sister to see him as the loving caring father he will never be in reality so he can keep Tracy under his control. If her sister thinks he’s a great guy, she must be crazy to have the instinct that he may not be. Tracy’s view of him will be different, whether she acknowledges it or not. She will see the real him. Her friends and family, what friends and family she will be allowed to keep, that is, will see his manufactured side, the side that is above and beyond the shining example of kindness and generosity.

It’s textbook. When I realized Michelle was in his house, it all made sense. It was an act to keep his reputation with outsiders intact.


  1. Bob, The Dad of Daughters. · · Reply

    “Donkey handled the situation with the most grace and patience I’ve ever seen. ”

    Of course he did, it was being recorded.

    1. He doesn’t care about it being recorded unless there’s a witness. He doesn’t realize recording goes both ways. He considers it evidence against me, and doesn’t consider he is also being recorded.

speak loudly, donkeys are sleeping

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