On 27 September I will once again stand before Judge Dennis Craig, but this time instead of defending my right to protect myself and my children from my abuser, I will be defending my right to tell my story, and yours.
I am hopeful for a positive outcome, that this space will remain, unobstructed, but hope is a dangerous drug – it will lift us higher than high and then drop us stone cold lower than low. What’s that saying, hope for the best, expect the worst – that’s what I am doing.
This is the same judge who decided Donkey’s lies were more believable than my truth. This is the same judge who decided that I presented false evidence of domestic violence. I’m expecting the worst. I mean, really, this judge didn’t believe I was a victim of domestic violence when dissolving our marriage and determining custody, so how will he reconcile that with this?
Donkey says, through his lawyer, that he wants this blog be taken down, wants me prohibited from telling my story on any other blog, and wants me prohibited from starting another blog of this nature, using my time with my kids as a bargaining chip, specifically:
6. My client [Donkey] would agree to be 60/40 time-sharing schedule for the summer requested by your client contingent upon the following:
A. Your client immediately takes down the deliberate donkey blog and/or any other blogs that she has of a similar type or nature.
B. [unrelated to the blog]
C. Your client shall not create any new blog, post on any one else’s blog or post anywhere on the Internet, allegations against my client that he allegedly committed abuse against her of any type or nature from this day forward.
D. [unrelated to the blog]
E. [unrelated to the blog]
F. [unrelated to the blog]
G. Any violation by your client pertaining to failing to take down the deliberate donkey blog, starting a new blog of a similar type or nature or posting on any blog or site disparaging comments about [Donkey] including, but not limited to allegations of abuse shall cause the stipulation to the 60/40 time-sharing schedule modification to be rescinded and the time-sharing to automatically revert to the default setting as set forth in the Final Judgment.
All this from the asshole who believes, “Your blogging hasn’t done anything else except serve me.”
When confronted about this, Donkey said he asked for his name and image to be removed from the blog (I cannot remove his name, because his name is not used and all images are obscured). This is not what was sent from his lawyer to mine.
His lawyer sent over a settlement proposal, and I agreed to everything except shutting down the blog. My lawyer sent this to Donkey’s lawyer, no alternative proposal was sent from his lawyer to mine, and his lawyer scheduled the entire matter for a court hearing.
What strides we were making in the negotiation were halted because I didn’t agree to shutting down this blog. I still don’t, and so in ten days I will drive from Atlanta to Palm Coast, sleep, or not, in a hotel and prepare to face Judge Dennis Craig at 10am on 27 September to finally settle the Final Divorce and to defend this blog.
It’s all going to the judge, this blog and the other matters on the same motion, namely that Donkey still hasn’t paid what he was ordered to pay 17 months ago, and, as a result, allowed the tax refund check to expire, and that Donkey has asked I drop my contempt of court charges.
I will fight for this space. I will fight for me and for us.
For too long we have been forced into the corner. For too long it has been unacceptable to tell our stories.
The silence needs to end, and it is. I am a part of this, as is every woman who has told her story, be it told here or elsewhere. I will fight for this space.
I will stand tall and proud that I have spoken. Whatever the outcome, it won’t change that I have spoken.
If the judge orders this space be taken down, it is what I will do.